151. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

by | Jun 8, 2023

We’ve all done it – we’ve all talked ourselves out of doing something amazing because we’ve told ourselves things like:

… who am I to do something like that?

…. I don’t have what it takes.

… I’m not good enough.

If you’re human, imposter syndrome is inevitable, but there are a few little tricks to keep you on the path toward your goal and that special thing you want to do.

In this week’s episode, not only do I share personal stories, but 4 specific ways to help you set your imposter syndrome down so you can make a difference.

I’ll see you inside! xo, Janeen

And! If you’re interested in learning more about the Mastermind, go to janeenalley.com/breakthrough to connect with me. xo!

>> CLICK HERE to Watch on YouTube

Transcript:

[00:00:00] Well, hello my friends. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I am Janeen Alley, and this is the Becoming a C E O of Your Life podcast. And today we are talking about imposter syndrome. So this is something I feel like we can all relate to if you’re a human being on this planet you have probably thought something along the lines of, I’m not good enough.

[00:00:24] Who am I to be out here sharing this content? There are so many people who can do this better than me. Nobody’s gonna listen to me. I mean, the stories go on and on and on. But I know, down in my bones that you are here to create something meaningful in the world. when it comes time to get going and taking action on all of your beautiful ideas, it’s inevitable that imposter syndrome is going to creep in and it’s gonna keep you stuck and it’s gonna keep you playing small or not even taking any action at all if you are not watching out for it.

[00:00:58] And so this is what I want you [00:01:00] paying attention to today, is how can you expect it? How can you overcome it, and how can you move forward?

[00:01:07] It’s very common for our insecurities to drive the bus. Ultimately feeling like what it is that we have to create or share with the world is not good enough. And I’m here to tell you that you are good enough. You are someone who can make a difference in the world, and the last thing that we want is for imposter syndrome to hold you back from making a difference in the world.

[00:01:30] Okay, so I have a few tips for you. Okay. So the very first thing is you want to remember who you’re here to serve. So this totally takes you out of your own head and it helps you to stay focused on other people, which is what you wanna do, right? You wanna be thinking, okay, how can I help? Who do I want to help?

[00:01:48] Or who can I help? And what is it that I wanna do? I’m sure you probably already have some ideas, whether it’s writing or painting or helping people with their finances or whatever. [00:02:00] But when you’re focused on other people, this allows you to create from your highest potential. I was just talking with someone earlier today and we were talking about dreams, and I was just mentioning that when my husband retires from the Air Force, that he will probably go and work

[00:02:17] in a prison as a dentist because we have such a passion for serving underprivileged populations. So that is something that would be amazing for him. I would love to support him in doing that. And she was saying, oh my gosh. One of the things that my husband and I would love to do is help inmates to learn financial responsibility so that when they get out, they’re not scrambling for cash or they, they don’t have any idea how to manage their money and they’re back creating crimes to help them to get money or to get the things that they need. And so I’m like, oh my gosh, that is such a great idea. But she said immediately, well, that’s not really my thing. I don’t have any education in that. That’s definitely more my [00:03:00] husband.

[00:03:01] And I was thinking, are you kidding me? In my head? I didn’t say this out loud to her, but in my head I’m thinking, are you kidding me? Because you’ve been amazing with the financial resources that you’ve been blessed with. There are plenty of things that you can teach and this is the thing that you wanna remember.

[00:03:16] As long as you are just a few steps ahead of somebody else, you can totally turn around and help them with something. You don’t have to be the greatest of all time doing that thing in order to make a difference in someone else’s life. If somebody came up to you and said, man, I just got out of prison and I’m not even sure how to manage my money.

[00:03:34] And I don’t wanna make the same mistakes that I did that landed me in prison in the first place. Can you help me? Of course. Of course you can help them. I mean, I can help them. You can help them, right? We know things that are going to be able to help somebody in their current situation, and that is what I want you thinking about.

[00:03:53] When we’re focused on other people, it’s so much easier for us to forget about ourselves and to stop [00:04:00] that I’m not good enough conversation and get to work. Okay. The second thing is we have to learn how to let go of the outcome. I bet you didn’t think I was gonna say that, but this one is so tricky for us to do because when we start on a venture, when we feel like we are taking action on, on something that has been inspired for us to do something that has been placed on our heart that we want to solve in the world, we think it should look a certain way.

[00:04:33] Let me give you a couple examples of this. My oldest son, Thomas, is currently serving a mission for our church in Portugal, and some days have been so frustrating for him because he is made a plan and it doesn’t work out the way that he feels like it should. And so he has to go back to, okay, why am I here?

[00:04:53] Why am I doing this work? It’s to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with people who might be interested, right? That’s why he is out there, [00:05:00] but what does he have control over in that situation? This is something that I’ve had to remind him about maybe once or twice. I know people don’t generally like to be coached against their will, so I just kind of drop these hints very subtly.

[00:05:13] But he is there to serve other people, right? He’s there to teach about something that’s really meaningful to him, but he only has control over one piece of that, and that’s what he’s doing, right? He has control over getting out there and working really hard. He doesn’t have control over whether people are interested or not.

[00:05:32] So if he’s there to serve God, he can focus on loving other people. He can focus on serving them and ultimately he’s in charge of his conversion to the gospel and his growth, but that’s what he has control over, right?

[00:05:45] I mean, if we’re being honest at the end of the day, so if he goes out and he is like, man, I was working really hard today nobody was interested in talking to me. It’s not a fail. Okay, so you wanna be thinking about what is it that you have control over? But listen, there are so many things that we [00:06:00] learn along the way that we don’t acknowledge or take credit for, right? If you are going out there and you’re doing something, Because you feel like it’s important.

[00:06:10] I mean, you’re learning skills of hard work and perseverance and showing up. Having trust and faith and, and all the things that come with that. It’s hard to do. It’s hard to do day after day when you’re not seeing results yet.

[00:06:24] Right. Okay. My other example, is I did the same thing in regards to the races that I’ve done. I’ve done long distance triathlons, and at the beginning when I first started training for them, I thought the most important day was going to be the day that I would cross the finish line. I mean, that was what I was working so hard for, right, was to be able to complete a really big, long race, something that I had trained for for months, I mean, almost a year sometimes.

[00:06:55] And not seeing, but that really isn’t the most important day, actually. It’s [00:07:00] the cherry on the top, right? The most important days were all the training days. It was the grind. The seemingly insignificant steps that got me closer to my goal of being ready and being fit enough to complete the race.

[00:07:14] Because on race day, there’s a lot of things that can go wrong, right? We have flat tires. You can go the wrong way, you can get sick. I mean, there’s so many things that just don’t work out. And if that’s all that you’re banking on, it can be really devastating. But in the moment, If you’re fit enough to cross the finish line, there are so many skills that you have to develop

[00:07:38] in order to do that. You have to develop discipline. You have to develop self-trust and follow through. Again, you have to develop hard work. These are all the little gems, and if you miss that, if you’re not focused on that, as soon as race day is done, you’re gonna fall back into past patterns and behaviors because you missed

[00:07:57] seeing the bigger picture. You missed allowing that [00:08:00] thing to change you. You’re not there for the race. That’s the fun day. You’re there for the growth. That’s what you ultimately want. If you’re trying to create something new, if you’re trying to, to help people become more financially literate, for example, and it doesn’t work out the way that you want to, it’s not a fail because there are so many little wins that happened along the way. You can still congratulate yourself that you showed up and you did it.

[00:08:29] And you just got all of those little nuggets of wisdom because of those efforts. Okay? The next thing when it comes to how to overcome imposter syndrome is to not let perfectionism get in your way.

[00:08:43] When we are feeling like an imposter. We’re usually comparing ourselves to someone else. And unfortunately what we do, and we’ve all done this, is we compare our back end with someone else’s middle or front end. We’re like, it’s not good enough. Hey, we have to stop that conversation [00:09:00] because we’re usually comparing and we’re falling short.

[00:09:03] So what you wanna do instead is you wanna give yourself permission to try and learn, okay, this is what we do, this is how it goes. You wanna try and learn and get your version 1.0 out into the world. So the other day, I helped a friend make a flyer. This was over the weekend. For a wellness retreat that she’s doing in Arizona.

[00:09:23] And we got on Canva, which is a fantastic software. If you’re creating any type of graphic design something you’ve got to learn canva, it is awesome. But we got on there and she picked a template and she got to work and she put all of her amazing ideas onto this flyer. Well, a flyer is usually eight and a half by 11 inches. Right? It’s not a very big piece of paper. And when she took a step back, she didn’t like it because the pieces weren’t cohesive. And this was her very first attempt at creating anything in the graphic design world. And so we took a look at it together. I gave her some pointers. [00:10:00] I told her one of the things that I let her know was that the purpose of the flyer was not to sell her retreat.

[00:10:06] Okay. The purpose of the flyer was for a potential customer to take the next step. Which for them was, they wanted people to land on their website so that they get more information and then eventually book a call. So that was something that she learned from that experience because she was trying to sell the retreat on the flyer, which is something that I noticed as soon as I took a look at it.

[00:10:25] But it wasn’t something I thought to share with her cuz I had no idea where she was on her journey. So it wasn’t until she actually did it, until I was able to give her that feedback. So you want to think about whatever it is that you’re doing. In your life in that way. She had to go back to the drawing board.

[00:10:42] She didn’t know any of the stuff that we talked about until she actually did something, until she actually tried something, until she was able to ask questions and get help and find out answers, and then try again. So this is exactly what I want you to give yourself permission to do as well. You’ve got to put down any perfectionist [00:11:00] thoughts that you might have about

[00:11:02] doing whatever it is that you’re doing, and I know that you’re out there and you’re like, well, that’s for everyone else. I have super high standards for myself. Okay, stop that right now. It doesn’t matter who you are. You are not perfect at whatever it is that you are doing brand new for the first time.

[00:11:20] So set that down. You’re not gonna be able to create, it’s gonna get in your way. It’s gonna be a massive stumbling block for you if you can’t allow yourself to just learn in the process. Okay? The last thing is you wanna get inspired by other people, but you want to refrain from copying someone else’s work.

[00:11:40] When we are struggling with imposter syndrome and we’re thinking to ourselves, will they do it better than I do so therefore we tell ourselves we should do it like them. Right? That seems to make sense to us, right? We’ve all done this before. I remember doing a report in fourth grade all about honeybees.

[00:11:57] It took me a very, very long time to [00:12:00] copy all of the words out of the encyclopedia and onto my paper that I turned in right? I thought it was just easier. What would’ve actually been easier for me is to actually read a bunch of books about honeybees, and then just turned around and taught my teacher about honey honeybees on my paper.

[00:12:18] That actually would’ve been easier to do. Because I really didn’t know half the words in there, to be honest. But again, when we do things like this, we miss out on learning. And I think in this case, we end up missing out on learning about ourselves and what it is that we have to offer the world that makes us different.

[00:12:38] Your voice and your words need to be heard in your way. Not just someone else’s ideas through you, but ideas that you have that might be similar to someone else’s, but said in your voice and with your understanding and the way that you’re going to do it. I can’t emphasize this enough. This is [00:13:00] so important.

[00:13:01] We gravitate to people who are themselves, right? We love to watch people on America’s Got Talent or on social media somewhere where people are just letting themselves shine through whatever it is that they’re doing in the world. We love that. And I want you to know that is true for you too. And I know immediate you’re like, but I can’t do it.

[00:13:23] Like so and so. Stop that right now. Put that down. Okay, put that down. Right now. And what you are here to create might be in the same category as someone else, right? How many comedians do we know? I can name five, just off the top of my head. And how many people are clothing designers?

[00:13:41] How many people are out there trying to work on the environment and saving the bees? I mean, there’s so many different things. Somebody else might be doing the exact same thing that you’re doing, but not the way you do things or not the way that you say things . You’re different and let it be different.

[00:13:58] Different is really good. So I want [00:14:00] you thinking about what your strengths are and lean into those things. So I’m just gonna give you a couple examples from me, cuz I want you to see how this plays into the big picture. I’m not just talking about me saying something like, well, I’m disciplined. Okay? I want you to see yourself as a complete package of what it is that you know and what your personality is like, and all the things that make you you, and to see this as one complete

[00:14:28] person. And that is what makes you amazing, right? So I think I’m goofy. I am funny and I love to laugh. And you could probably pick that up on the podcast, right? I love to use a lot of humor when I coach and when I teach not to make fun of people, I actually hate that. But more of I love to just laugh at the collective struggle that we have as humans.

[00:14:52] And the things that all of our brains do, because if we see it like that, it’s like, oh, I’m not the only one. I’m not the [00:15:00] only one who does things like that. ok, I love people. I love my faith and I love my family. I’m compassionate, and I think I’m pretty relatable.. I am a productivity coach and I’m not on time for everything. I think sometimes people think that, oh, you’re a productivity coach you got all your stuff together. Well, that is true. It’s also not true. So I’m not a type A person. My desire is to make a difference and that drives my discipline for sure. I believe in dreams. I believe in my dreams.

[00:15:29] I believe in yours. I work really hard and I strive for balance and my life. I appreciate my body and I take really good care of it. I have a strong desire to leave the world a better place than I found it. And I am an undying optimist for sure. So these are things that make me unique in the things that I do.

[00:15:48] So I want you to create a list that’s similar to that for yourself. No one is going to have the unique combination of characteristics and qualities that you do. So when you say, I’m not like so-and-so, [00:16:00] that’s actually a really good thing. It’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others. We all do it, but you wanna course correct to focus on the things that make you special and the things that make you different every time. That is within your power. So you think about people who do similar things, like I mentioned, people who are chefs, or writers or hairstylists or yoga teachers.

[00:16:21] All doing similar things, but in their own way. So I want you to give yourself permission to do it your way and stop telling yourself that the market is saturated with ideas or people or whatever. That just is not true. Okay? So I want you to remember, number one, I think if you take away any nugget wisdom today, it’s the number one thing that I said, and it is to remember who you are here to serve. I’m here to serve my clients, and I’m ultimately here to serve God. I’d rather live my life striving and trying and giving my all, every single day

[00:16:58] to make a difference, even if nothing [00:17:00] comes of it. Rather than staying stuck or playing small or a succumbing to imposter syndrome, because doing these things is fun. It brings purpose and meaning and challenge to my life, and that is what lights me up. So if you are interested, In learning more from me, I would love for you to be a part of this mastermind becoming the c e o of your life that is happening this fall.

[00:17:26] We are going to go deep on how you can make a difference, and also what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are, so that you can really move forward in your life with clarity and confidence. And the things that you learn inside of this mastermind you are going to be able to apply to anything that you’re doing ever in your life and it’s gonna be amazing and I hope that you are able to join me. So if you are interested in talking about the Mastermind or finding out more about the Mastermind, just go ahead and go to janeenalley.com/breakthrough

[00:17:55] there is a tiny little survey that’s there. It takes two [00:18:00] minutes, and then you’ll get to my calendar and we will connect. I’m super excited to talk to you about how you can make your dreams come true. All right, my friend. Have a beautiful rest of your week and I’ll talk to you guys next time. We’ll see ya.

[00:18:12] Bye.

 

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