162. Make an Impact… Even if You Lack Confidence Right Now to Make a Difference (Part 4/4)

So often we miss an opportunity to make a difference because we don’t feel confident we can help.

Instead of waiting to feel confident or doing the mind work around feeling confident, focus instead on building your self-confidence muscles.

Self-confidence is our ability to feel any emotion and open up to it instead of resisting or shrinking from it. Because this is ultimately what keeps us stuck when we fear feeling anything.

If you combine the tools I’ve shared over the last 4 weeks with you you will become unstoppable in making an impact.

I’ll see you inside! Xo, Janeen

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[00:00:00] Janeen: All right, you guys. Welcome back. This is our fourth and final secret in this series. I have been talking this entire month about how to become the c e O of your life, and this secret is all about how to make an impact. So if you have missed the other three episodes that have been before this one, I wanna encourage you to go back and listen to those episodes.

[00:00:24] I just realize I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Janeen Alley, and you are listening to becoming the C e O of Your Life podcast. So today we are covering the third secret. This is how to make an impact even if you lack the confidence right now to make a difference. One of the things that stands in our way to making an impact is that we all have a tendency to feel ordinary.

[00:00:49] We take a look at the vision or the dream, or the direction that we wanna go, and the changes that we feel called to make, and We talk ourselves out of it. We [00:01:00] keep ourselves playing small. So there is this myth that we buy into that we need to feel confident or even extraordinary before we get started on making an impact.

[00:01:09] And like I mentioned last week, this impact can be small on a smaller scale. It can be in your family, in your community, or even yourself. It can also be larger. It can be on a national or even on a global level. And all of it is really exciting. So here is the truth about confidence. Confidence comes from thoughts that you have about past success, right?

[00:01:32] So if you haven’t ever done anything before, of course you’re not gonna feel confident to do it, right? Confidence comes as you move forward. If you think about, for example, like speaking on stage, I did a live event a few weeks ago. I was not confident, but I still got up there and did it anyway, and I’m gonna tell you how I did that in just a second. Because the truth is, if you’re waiting to feel confident, first, you will never take action.

[00:01:58] I was not waiting to feel [00:02:00] confidence to step out on that stage. So in order for us to make an impact and to step out without the confidence, I want you to think about this in a totally different way. Instead of waiting to feel confident or doing the mind work around feeling confident, I want you to focus instead on building your self-confidence muscles.

[00:02:21] Because self-confidence is our ability to feel any emotion and open up to it instead of resisting or shrinking from it. Because this is ultimately what keeps us stuck when we fear feeling anything. This is the thing that prevents us from moving forward, whether we are afraid that we are gonna be humiliated or disappointed, or that we’re gonna feel dumb or that we’re gonna face our insecurities or our self doubts about things, right? If we don’t have the capacity to feel things, then we end up failing to move forward. We fail to get out [00:03:00] there and to really create the vision that we have for a better world.

[00:03:04] We end up failing to create the mission that we feel called to fulfill in this life. Because when we do this, of course we’re going to get uncomfortable. Okay? So I want you to just kinda let that sink in for just a moment. All right? And then I’m gonna have you take this one step further. When we become the CEOs of our lives, we make a commitment, like I talked about last week, and we take a stand.

[00:03:27] It’s this grounded sense that you have a purpose in life, that you have a mission to fulfill. Something that really lights your fire and gets you excited to get out of bed in the morning. Now, this is a huge, huge blessing. It is one of the privileges of my life to feel like I have purpose on this planet, but it’s also a pretty big liability. And here’s why. Because when you get going, you realize that you cannot turn away from the suffering of the world. You become [00:04:00] immersed in the pain. In a you and me world, and this is something that I’ve been talking about all along. This is something that I have been so inspired by from the work of Lynne Twist is creating this you and me world.

[00:04:13] In a you and me world, if you are suffering, I’m suffering. We cannot become the vehicles of transformation without emotion. Because emotions drive action. If we block or resist the pain that we feel, we prevent our own participation in the world’s attempt to heal itself. The Reverend Deborah Johnson says, you can’t heal what you don’t feel.

[00:04:38] In our Western culture, we do so many things, of course, to avoid suffering because we can. We have so many vehicles to buffer our pain away right at our fingertips, including on our phones or on Netflix, or with alcohol or with drugs or whatever. It’s so easily accessible. Even food, right? Sometimes even [00:05:00] exercise.

[00:05:01] I’m gonna put that one out there for you to think about for a second, but this is what we do because we do not know how to process emotions in a healthy way. But if we can’t feel the pain in which we seek to support , if this all just stays cerebral, this experience of change in the world stays cerebral and we actually don’t allow that emotion to drop down into our bodies if it’s just something that we do really quickly and forget about to mollify this discomfort that we feel, we can’t ultimately be truly, authentically, and lastingly useful.

[00:05:38] It is something that is fleeting and it’s helpful in the moment, but it’s not helpful long term. And this might all sound bad. I’m talking about feeling emotions that are gonna be really uncomfortable for you. It’s not all bad. It really isn’t because here’s the truth. We suffer either way, and this is one of the things that Buddhism really embraces is suffering [00:06:00] is part of the human experience.

[00:06:02] We either suffer if we open up to the pain of the world or we suffer if we feel the call to make a difference and we don’t. So when we expand our capacity to feel, of course the pain is going to be deeper for sure, but I want you to also see the flip side of that. So is our joy. This is what it means to truly be alive.

[00:06:27] So becoming the c e o of your life means you heed the call, the call that you feel in your soul and you move forward. We focus on becoming self-confident In this process. You’re able to listen to other people. You’re able to hold space for their pain and get close to that pain. And then, and only then we have the ability to truly put an end to it.

[00:06:51] So when you’re able to combine taking a stand and making a commitment, these are things that I’ve talked about in the past few weeks with something that really, truly [00:07:00] lights you up and ignites your passion for life, plus, you’re able to discover how to expand your ability to feel you truly become unstoppable in your ability to make an impact in your own unique and extraordinary way.

[00:07:16] This is the truth. We need you. The world needs you. We need your gifts and your talents, and your expertise and experience, and your heart and your amazing ideas. Ordinary people become extraordinary when they take a stand for a purpose that is larger than themselves. And I can tell you in my life, I don’t necessarily think of myself as an extraordinary person, but I have been amazed at my ability to do things that I felt like at one point were impossible.

[00:07:46] That started out as a dream what felt like an impossible dream. But as I moved forward, people came into my life and the path was laid before me. Sometimes I couldn’t see even one step in front of me until I started to move my foot,

[00:07:59] but I was able to [00:08:00] move because of the fire within me, and that’s what it means to truly take a stand.

[00:08:06] So I want you just thinking for a minute, what would your life feel like if, instead of just thinking that your dream or your vision was inaccessible to you,

[00:08:14] If instead of feeling like you were living your life in fight or flight all the time, or were just reacting to all the things, or wondering how to make things that matter an actual priority in your life, not just on paper, but on your calendar and the way that you lived out your days, or how to take a stand or how to open up to emotions instead of resisting them.

[00:08:36] If instead of feeling frustrated because your efforts felt watered down and you felt like you were just spinning in your life and believing your reasons for why this isn’t gonna work for you in your life. What if instead of that entire experience, you had a really simple system in place that eliminated that entire experience and helped you to create freedom to do the things that mattered to you, the [00:09:00] things that you felt like have been placed on your heart to do in your life.

[00:09:04] What if you were able to get excited about what you had going on in your life, that you knew that you were here to make an impact, and you were able to take stand and reach goals that you never thought possible? What if you were in a community of like-minded women who helped lift you up to that space and made this possible for you?

[00:09:24] This might seem like a dream come true to you, but this is a hundred percent possible. Now the challenge for me in doing my podcast, We’ve barely scratched the surface. I don’t go really deep on these podcasts because of time. I only have maybe 20 or 30 minutes with you. But, the other thing is you are unique.

[00:09:46] You have a different schedule and desires and things going on in your life than anyone else that’s listening to the podcast. Now, the challenge for you is hopefully you felt inspired after this four week series, but [00:10:00] then you turn the podcast off and you’re not exactly sure what your next steps are. So my gift for you, for being a podcast listener is I’d love to help you to create a personalized plan to help you to become the c e o of your life and to help you to create your next steps.

[00:10:16] So in the next couple of weeks, I am going to open my calendar to help you to create a customized plan that is unique to you and your life circumstances. Even if you only have one hour a week to dedicate to your vision, I would love to help you to do this. So I want you to book a call.

[00:10:33] It’s free. All you need to do is get on my calendar by going to janeenalley.com/ceo. I want you to book a call with me and we will help to map out your next steps. After listening to all of this content, I want you to do that. Go to janeenalley.com/ceo. I do not know how long this link is going to be live.

[00:10:54] As soon as the Mastermind is full, I’m going to shut this down. So please reach [00:11:00] out to me if this content has

[00:11:02] moved you and has helped you to feel like I do. This is what I want. I want to be able to make a difference. All right, so one more time. That link is janeenalley.com/ceo thank you guys so much for joining me over the last month. It truly has been my pleasure to be with you. I hope that the things that I have shared have been of value to you, and I hope that you guys have a beautiful week.

[00:11:24] We will catch you guys soon. Take care. Bye-bye.