Culturally we hustle hard but not without some significant (sometimes unseen) consequences.
This week I’m sharing 2 ways to rise above the mundane – without dropping the ball – so you can get things done that matter to you.
I’ll see you inside! xo, Janeen
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[00:00:00] Janeen: All right, my friends. Welcome back to another week of the podcast. I am Janine Ali. You are listening to becoming the c e o of your life today. So if you are brand new to the podcast, I’m right in the middle of a series of podcasts that all go together. This is week two of four, and I know that I mentioned last week that we’re only gonna be three, but I really spent some time kind of delving into background and stories and things that I felt like I always love to listen to anyways on other people’s podcasts.
[00:00:27] So I thought maybe you might be interested in a little bit more of my background. So I, I shared quite a bit last week of what it means to become the c e o of your life. And so over the next three weeks, I’m going to be sharing the different secrets in order to help you to become the c e o of your life.
[00:00:43] And a little behind the scenes. Right now, I’m actually recording all of these together because we are gonna be traveling through the month of August, and I wanted to knock this out and get it all done and ready to go so that I wasn’t having to worry about podcasting while I was gone so I could [00:01:00] be a real vacation for me.
[00:01:02] All right, so the very first secret of becoming the c e o of your life is learning how to rise above the mundane so that you can get things done that matter to you without dropping the ball. The truth is, is it’s so easy for us to get caught up in the minutia of our lives.
[00:01:19] Right? When we started out, I know when Merrill and I started out on our journey together as a couple, we got married. I actually got married when I was 21. I almost gulp a little bit when I say that out loud because now as a 45 year old, that seems awfully young, but fortunately I made a really good choice and so everything has worked out, but it’ll be interesting if my kids decide to make the same choice as they get older.
[00:01:45] But anyway, we got married really young and fact, my husband and I did not have like real jobs until we had been married for seven years. We actually got married while we were in college, and then he had four years of grad school after that. And [00:02:00] I took care of my kids. Thomas was born actually two weeks after dental school started. And so we were fortunate enough to have an Air Force scholarship that paid for tuition for school, but we still had to take out loans for living expenses.
[00:02:12] And that was the choice that we made so that I could stay home. And that has been a massive blessing in my life for me as a mom. But that meant that we had to hustle and we had to get really scrappy. And I know that this story is familiar to a lot of you. In fact, I have friends who have very similar stories, right?
[00:02:31] We hustled super hard, early twenties to get started on our life, for our family and for our future and for our careers. And we culturally are still hustling. And I was in the same spot probably seven or eight years ago while I was still hustling. And it really wreaked havoc on my health, my mental, emotional, and then of course my physical health as well.
[00:02:53] And I’m gonna get into that in just a second. But the message that we believe, I think culturally, and this is all [00:03:00] subconscious, this is not your fault, but the message that we believe culturally is in order to have it all, you have to do it all. Now if you have bought into this, if this is your life currently, this is not your fault.
[00:03:12] We cannot help but be influenced by what we see because this is our culture. It’s what we’re immersed in. And it’s all over the place, we cannot turn around and not see it, whether it’s our physical space, unless you live way out the boondocks, right? Or I mean social media, you get online, it’s everywhere.
[00:03:32] The cultural answer loud and clear is in order for you to have what it is that you want, you can totally do it you just have to work harder. Well, there are three main problems with this. I mean, there’s probably lots of problems, but I’m gonna touch on three today. So the first problem is there aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it all.
[00:03:56] This is why we always feel behind and not enough before we [00:04:00] even get out of bed in the morning. This is an impossible standard for us to live up to, right? Because our energy feels pulled in all of these different directions throughout the day. Our efforts and anything becomes watered down because we have our hands in all of these different pots, right?
[00:04:16] And it’s so easy for us when we’re living this way to feel overwhelmed and burned out. We don’t feel like we’re doing anything well and when we’re living like that you are not giving a hundred percent anywhere. And that is so frustrating because one of the things I’ve probably said multiple times on the podcast is we are designed to progress.
[00:04:34] And when we’re not progressing, that is actually a huge frustration for us. We’re so focused on what we should be doing with our lives. We become disconnected from ourselves and we lose our identity in this space. We forget who we are and what it is that we want. Everything feels like a [00:05:00] priority in our lives.
[00:05:01] And when everything feels like a priority, nothing really is. The second thing that is wrong with this is when we are subconsciously going with the hustle harder flow, it is, like I just mentioned on my own personal story, it’s wreaking havoc on our health, particularly our nervous systems, right? When that sympathetic nervous system or that fight, flight or freeze is turned on all day, every day, or, or maybe it’s, and our immune systems, right?
[00:05:30] Because we get sick so easily. So when our fight or flight is on all day, every day, anxiety and stress become our lifestyle and it feels like, well, this is just the way that it is. Okay. The third problem that we have with this is on a larger scale, this hustle harder mentality fuels an accumulation culture.
[00:05:51] We feel like we have to have more and so we buy more and we build more in order to be more. But these two things do not equate. You [00:06:00] can’t accumulate in order to be enough or to be worthy, right? You are a hundred percent already enough. You are a hundred percent worthy of all the good things.
[00:06:10] I promise you, you are. You were born that way. Having more isn’t gonna make you more. But not only that, globally, this having more and buying more and building more is not sustainable. It creates this you or me world. It’s something that I mentioned in last week’s podcast. So here’s the truth. We don’t really want to do it all.
[00:06:33] We want to do the things that matter to us. but the problem is, is we don’t take the time to figure out what matters to us because we’re so disconnected from ourselves. And I know you might be thinking, I don’t even know what that looks like, or I don’t even have time for that. But the reality is, you don’t have time for the life that you’re living now or the life that you’re trying to live right now.[00:07:00] When we are doing life the way everyone else is doing it, we’re going to get results that everyone else is getting, right? We’re gonna feel exhausted, we’re gonna feel behind, and we’re gonna be burned out. So there is a difference between looking outside of ourselves to find out what we should be doing with our life.
[00:07:18] We get these messages all the time subconsciously, and we’ve been getting them since the time we were little, right? From our parents or from what our friends were doing, or for the community that we were raised in. Even our faith communities or the elementary schools and the high schools that we graduated from.
[00:07:32] There is a difference between looking outside of yourself and looking internally and getting clear on what your priorities are and what matters to you. when we’re looking internally for what we really want, we connect to ourselves. The things that we like, the things that we don’t like, what our opinions are, what our wants and desires are, and also what our mission is in life.
[00:07:58] When we are looking [00:08:00] internally, we regain our identity as a human being First. Our opinions are just as equally weighty as everyone else’s. And I know that for a long time I thought that my opinion was kind of bottom of the totem pole. And of course, as a young mom, you have a newborn baby
[00:08:17] of course their needs trump yours. But I’m talking about life in general, not even with my children, but with my husband and with my friends, and with my parents.
[00:08:26] But fortunately, I learned that my voice needed to be heard, just like your voice needs to be heard. The second thing that I want you to understand is you’re not dropping the ball if you’re intentionally setting it down. Okay? When we intentionally decide that something is a no, we are delegating, we are eliminating, we are simplifying our lives on purpose. When you rise above the hustle and let go of cultural expectations and connect to yourself, you’re able to channel your energy into one or two things that really [00:09:00] light your fire. So not only do you get more done in less time, but you’re able to rise above the mundane because you’re able to triage and see really quickly what matters and what doesn’t.
[00:09:14] And the beautiful thing about this is this helps to create white space or breathing room and time to relax and you’re able to make an impact. You’re able to focus on creating a you and me world. To rise above the mundane here are the two things that you need to do. You need to get crystal clear on the things that you want.
[00:09:35] Not on a surface level, but what you really want and you need to start living your life from your priorities. So becoming the c e o of your life means you intentionally take on what you want, and then when you get clear on your yeses, everything else becomes a really easy no. Less truly is more. All right, my friends, that is the end of this first secret that I wanted to share with you [00:10:00] about becoming the c e o of your life.
[00:10:01] And I want you to stay tuned with me because this is just part two of four. The next two weeks I will be covering the next two secrets to become the c e o of your life. However, if this has really lit your fire and you wanna reach out to me and join my mastermind or just talk about next steps or just connect with me, I would love to talk to you.
[00:10:18] You can go to janeenalley.com/ceo, find a spot on my calendar and we will connect. All right, my friends. Have a beautiful rest of your week. We’ll catch you guys soon. See ya. Bye.