Dealing with the 5th flood this year – on top of being a CSA farmer, a doula, being a mom to 5 (including one who was in a significant accident at the beginning of the summer and was in a wheelchair) – Elan has something to say about becoming peacefully productive.
In this week’s episode, she talks about her journey, what she’s let go of, and how she’s said no…
….to create more time, space, and peace in her life.
I loved this conversation and I know you will too!
Enjoy! xo, Janeen
[00:00:00] Janeen: All right. So welcome everybody back to the podcast. I am super excited to have another amazing guest on my show Today. I am having Élan Eddington join me today on the podcast.
[00:00:12] She is one of my favorite people from all time. You’re not gonna believe this , but she actually lived across the hall from me our freshman year in college, that is when we met, and we have been really, really close friends ever since. And Élan is part of my coaching program and she is amazing and I just am really grateful that she’s on the show today.
[00:00:35] Okay. So a little backstory before I bring Elan on the show today we were talking, I was watching one of my son’s soccer games and I called her on the phone and she had had this flood and it was crazy , it was crazy town.
[00:00:47] And she was sharing with me some of the things that she was learning, and I’m like, "Élan, you have to come on the show and you have to talk about your experience," because I think that her life is going to resonate with so many of [00:01:00] you. And the program that I recently built, The Burnout Breakthrough, was actually for Elan and women like her, not just for her, but women like her because her story is something that I feel like is, is so common. It’s the, the story and the themes that I was seeing with her were things that I was seeing with so many other women who were just feeling so burned out.
[00:01:23] So, Elan, before we dive into the story and coaching and all of that, just tell everybody a little bit about you. Just give everybody a little bit of backstory with you.
[00:01:34] Élan: Sure. So yeah. Like Janine said, we’ve known each other for a long time. I have five children.
[00:01:41] We live on a farm in southeastern Idaho. Farming is not our primary source of income, but it is a large chunk of where we commit our time. It’s not my profession. I’m a doula, so I teach childbirth education and I support women during labor [00:02:00] and in the immediate postpartum. So. That is what I spend a lot of my time doing.
[00:02:05] And I have found places in my community that I want to focus some of my energy. So I especially volunteer with our local symphony and teach music classes in the elementary schools.
[00:02:19] Janeen: Okay, so tell me a little bit about your experience with coaching and why you got into hiring a coach and being part of a community where you were getting life coaching support.
[00:02:31] Élan: Yeah. So I didn’t actually know much about life coaching until you know, talking to you about what you were doing. And then I had some other friends who were talking about hiring life coaches. And I remember being on this hike once with you and. I was going through some of the feelings that I had with extended family members and you were helping me see the way I was thinking about these relationships, and you said [00:03:00] something like, "Oh, we’re just scratching the surface" and it was as if.
[00:03:06] A lid was lifted off of a pot for me, and inside I was like, What? There’s more and so I decided to join your program to be coached. And then when I started getting coaching on the regular and being in a community of women who were being coached, it was, I mean, a whole world was open to me, not just for me recognizing my own thoughts and sort of working through the daily frustrations that I had and emotions that came up. But also as I listened to other women, I recognized that everything they were being coached on was totally applicable to me. And so it was like I was learning double or triple or quadruple the more women I listened to being coached. We all have a human brain and most of us have similar thoughts. so [00:04:00] even though I would be coached on something totally different than the next woman, I would learn from my experience, but also from hers. And so it was as if a, a university of opportunities was opened up to me. that’s why I continue doing it. I don’t think I’ll give up.
[00:04:16] Janeen: Like once you get a little taste,
[00:04:18] Élan: Yeah. No, it’s so helpful. So helpful.
[00:04:23] Janeen: It is so helpful. It’s because you can get through so many of your obstacles and hurdles in such a short period of time when you have a coach with you, instead of getting that kind of spinning in the same loop, but you joined coaching, I remember to help specifically with productivity.
[00:04:40] Élan: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there is like,
[00:04:42] Janeen: even though that we had been talking about a relationship, I remember you’re just like, I’m just so burnt out. Yeah. I want to feel better about my everyday life and the things that I’m living through. And even though my coaching program was more kind of a broad.
[00:04:58] Perspective on things. [00:05:00] It wasn’t specifically a productivity program at the time. It was something that you got a lot out of because once you understand the model and once you understand how to coach yourself, then it really doesn’t matter what the problem is if you can see your own brain and your thoughts and your emotions, you can really solve
[00:05:17] Élan: Yeah. Yeah. I. I think I remember the first month that I was in the program and I’d write down the model. I would always write at the bottom of it, like, I want to be peacefully productive. Like, that was always because I felt like my goal in life was to fit all of the things into the box of the 24 hours that I was given. And so I would let my sleep be deprived. I would just try to fill in all of the cracks , you know, I’d just shuffle it around rather than create a life that I really wanted. Mm-hmm. , because I wanted to do it all. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah, I was, I might have been productive, but I wasn’t peaceful.[00:06:00]
[00:06:00] Janeen: Yeah. . Well, you are efficient.
[00:06:02] Élan: I was efficient.
[00:06:03] Janeen: You’re efficient. That’s the difference between productivity and efficiency is efficiency helps you get more done so you can get more done. And productivity helps you to get things done to create freedom, and that is the big difference between those two things.
[00:06:17] So yeah, when I created The Burnout Breakthrough, you were top of mind because you’d come so far. And there were still some things that we were working through and I wanted to addresss that specifically in the course. So anyway, back to back to the flood. Let’s get back to the flood. Okay. So I was talking to you on the phone, , and you had said to me, "Janeen, this is my fifth flood this year."
[00:06:44] So tell us all the things. You don’t have to go into the details of maybe the four previous floods, but where were you at with that flood? And tell, give us a little bit of backstory with that.
[00:06:53] Élan: So this particular flood that you’re referring to was my fifth, and it happened at the beginning of August.
[00:06:59] And [00:07:00] just to give you a little bit of a back history of the summer. As farmers, we we have this very large garden where we distribute baskets to 35 families in our community. And. That starts in April. In May, my son came home for a short visit and he was in a para gliding accident and he fell from the sky and he was living at home in a wheelchair. My husband took on a new job where he was doing double duty as a general counsel of the company he works, and also simultaneously trying to run a family business. And he was traveling all the time.
[00:07:37] And I had come to a place in the summer where I was done with our apartments that we own. We own and manage several apartments and I wanted them on the market. So when I say this was the fifth flood, it was the second flood in our home. We had a refrigerator leak. That wasn’t a huge deal, but it had warped our brand new hardwood [00:08:00] floors in our newly remodeled kitchen.
[00:08:01] And we brought in a restoration company and they were managing that, but our apartments that we were in the process of selling, had three different floods. It just happened in the short period of time, and I needed to clean up all of that. Some of these floods were over $20,000 worth of damage.
[00:08:21] And so it was extensive damage. Mm-hmm. . So I was cleaning that up and we were just about to close on the apartments. And Aaron happened to not be traveling on this Sunday evening.
[00:08:32] And he and I went for a walk. So we’re a little bit frazzled from this very busy summer. And emotions are kind of high because of everything that we’d been through. We went on a walk and on the way home we water our massive garden in various places. And one of the places we water, we have kind of a borrow pit along the road and we water that from our house well. The rest of the garden comes from the ditch. And we live in a [00:09:00] very rural area. It’s not a neighborhood. There’s no street lights. And so when we walked up to our driveway, I said, I’m gonna go turn on the onion water. So I walked around the house and all the of our porch lights are off.
[00:09:11] So I’m in the dark and I went to the corner of the house and I just reached my hand around the house and turned on the spigot. But I didn’t walk out the hose. I didn’t check anything, and I just came inside. Aaron went on to go and turn on the rest of the water for the garden, and we went inside. 24 hours later, I remembered, Oh, I turned on the onion water Sunday night I need to go turn it off. And so when I went around the house on Monday night, I heard running water. And my heart just fell because I knew that meant that the hose was not connected. And I turned off the spigot and I ran down to the basement. It was like I knew immediately what had happened. And I walked into my son’s room who had just left that week before, and I stepped into his room and it was like I was in a [00:10:00] soggy swimming pool of carpet.
[00:10:02] And the worst thought that I had in my mind was, I have to tell my husband, . So I ran upstairs and I, and I told him what had happened and
[00:10:14] Janeen: why were you worried about that? Just explain that.
[00:10:17] Élan: Because a couple of reasons. He was emotionally wound up with everything going on at work. I think he had kind of recovered emotionally from my son’s injury, but there was so much that he was trying to manage with two jobs at work. And because we had already dealt with four other floods, this was like, The straw that would break the camel’s back. And Aaron, he doesn’t yell. It’s not like he, you know, he didn’t blow up or anything like that. I just knew that it would be like crushing and it was crushing to me.
[00:10:50] But for some reason I thought, Oh, I can handle this crushing . I didn’t wanna share
[00:10:54] it, you know? . And so he ran down to the basement and we spent the rest of the night [00:11:00] just pulling all of the furniture out, pulling out the carpet and just shop vacuuming as much water as we could. And what we realized was that neither of us had the emotional bandwidth to deal with another fire.
[00:11:16] You know, the proverbial fire. Mm-hmm. . We were both totally burned out. And there was no wiggle room In our time or in our, you know, emotional space to manage it. I mean, Aaron’s response was more or less like, I wanna sell everything and move to the mountains. I’m just done. And mine was like apologetic and, Oh, I can fix it.
[00:11:41] And I’m sorry to add more to your plate. Like I wanted to kind of bandaid it. And so that was sort of the turning point for me, where I realized if we don’t have the emotional space to manage a significant event, then we’re not living our best life.[00:12:00]
[00:12:00] So that’s when I decided things needed to change for me, cuz it’s, I can only control what I put on my calendar. So that’s when I started changing things.
[00:12:09] Janeen: Oh my gosh. I am so grateful that you shared all of that, because I feel like it’s so applicable to the way that so many people are running their lives right now. Is they’re just kind of moving from one fire to the next, to the next to next, and not getting to things that are actually really important to them because they’re so busy addressing an urgent need that they don’t really have the time or the space to take onto their schedules because they’re so full. So what were some of the things that you learned from that
[00:12:43] Élan: Well, first I think the first thing that I had to recognize was the emotional connection, like my response to my husband and not wanting to tell him because I didn’t wanna put more stress on him, like there needed to be time that we [00:13:00] prioritized for each other. So that is actually one big thing we changed from August moving forward, was we set a time every day to turn off everything, because we were just running from one job to the next, to the next mm-hmm.
[00:13:14] we weren’t making that connection. So that was one thing I learned. The second I was really grateful that I listened to that prompt to sell the apartments because that really was, I was already dealing with the floods down the street, and I would rather take care of my home than somebody else’s overflowed toilet.
[00:13:33] And so when I saw that, if I could give up one thing, Like owning these apartments and managing them, maybe I should give up another. And so what I started doing is I started looking at the way I was spending my time and I was saying, maybe I don’t wanna give this up 100%, but maybe I can give this up 75%.
[00:13:54] So I’m gonna give you some examples.
[00:13:56] Janeen: Yeah. Gimme an example.
[00:13:57] Élan: So so I work as a childbirth [00:14:00] doula, which means I’m on call for clients from the time they’re 37 weeks until potentially 42 weeks. And some women don’t go into labor until they’re about 42 weeks along.
[00:14:11] And that means If my family wants to go anywhere local, I take two cars just in case I have to drive away. It means I have to find backup if I want to go outside of what I call my radius of care. So if I wanna drive an hour or two hours away, if I wanna go up to our mountain property, I have to find backup, which is a stress for me.
[00:14:32] There’s not many doula in the area, so what I decided to do was to take off two months in the winter and two months in the summer and only take due dates on those kind of shoulder months of the year. So I had to start saying no to people that were calling me and saying, Hey, my friend really recommended you, or this doctor or this midwife really recommended you.
[00:14:56] And that was hard. Mm-hmm. , because I’ve been working for the last [00:15:00] 10 years to build up a business that is really based by word of mouth. Mm-hmm. and personal recommendations. And so to turn those down was really hard, but to say yes to me and my family was the first priority. Mm-hmm. .
[00:15:15] When I say like, not 100%, cuz birth work is a life passion and that is something that I wanna prioritize, but I don’t have to do it 100% of the time. Mm-hmm. . Another thing I decided is I’m taking a year of rest from our garden. And that was a really big decision. It’s become kind of an identity for our property.
[00:15:34] People drive by and it’s this massive, beautiful, apocalyptic garden. I hire all of the neighborhood kids, including my own kids, and I have a couple of women who work in the garden with me, and it’s, we love it. It’s a social time. It doesn’t mean I will not garden, but I’m just gonna garden for my family.
[00:15:51] I’m not gardening for 35 families, so we’re putting a cover crop in this fall and letting the garden rest. Oh. I have to tell [00:16:00] you, when I picked the last butternut squash before the frost came for the last baskets, it’s like you make the decision and then you feel the rightness of that decision.
[00:16:10] Mm-hmm. . And so a huge weight was taken off of me knowing that I can rest not just for the winter, but I can rest for all of next year. Mm-hmm. from the responsibility of those twice weekly baskets. Yeah. It’s a big deal.
[00:16:26] Janeen: It is a big. It’s a really big deal. Gimme one more example. This is really good.
[00:16:32] Élan: Okay. So this year I recognized another stressor in my life and that is actually some of my pets. We have a border collie that is a high energy dog, and we did a remodel a year and a half ago in our home.
[00:16:46] When we started the remodel, we said goodbye to our chocolate lab, who was sort of the farm dog. And as soon as he died, her personality changed and she started becoming high maintenance. She’d start biting people. She was becoming a [00:17:00] stress. So I thought it would be a good idea to get her a companion thinking that that would help her and it would solve the problem.
[00:17:08] So I tried to replace the chocolate lab that we lost by getting a black lab. Unfortunately, that lab arrived at our home the week that my son was in his accident. I didn’t have the time for her and I resented her, and instead of making the relationship better between the dogs, it became a contentious mess.
[00:17:29] And so where I realized there was a big stressor in my life and a huge time suck was taking the dogs out, making sure they weren’t fighting, making sure they were getting enough running time, but being kenneled whenever anybody was potentially coming to our house, which is very often because we run a community farm.
[00:17:47] And it was landing on my shoulders. And so as much as the kids and my husband didn’t wanna get rid of a dog, I made the hard decision to re-home. And I found a home for our Border Collie. [00:18:00] And it’s interesting because every time I would complain about it or talk to the family about it or say something to my husband about it, he’d just say, Well, let’s just take him to the shelter.
[00:18:09] We’ll just take him. And I wanted to be responsible by not handing this dog off to just anybody with her problems. I wanted to find a home that knew about her and it would be a good fit. And as soon as we found the right person, Then it was so sad But I had gone through the work of mm-hmm.
[00:18:30] allowing myself to be sad, making the decision and then moving forward. But I did that with a timeframe. I knew by Halloween if I hadn’t found a home for her, we’d have to do something that would even be harder than rehoming for me. So, yeah, letting go of some of my pets because my family and my sanity and my time are more important than.
[00:18:55] Yes. And that that’s hard. All of these decisions were super hard, but they were really important. [00:19:00] Yeah,
[00:19:00] Janeen: a hundred percent. That’s the thing. I mean it people would be peacefully productive if it were easy , right? I mean that’s the thing, you have to be so intentional about what it is that you’re taking on and what it is that you’re not taking on.
[00:19:14] and it is really challenging for people. So tell me a little bit of your aha moments in this process of becoming more peacefully productive in your life. What are some of the things that you learned?
[00:19:27] Élan: Some of the aha moments came from listening to the courses through your program, and as I would write out what I would want to do, I would recognize on my paper, on my weekly calendar and on my daily productivity, it wasn’t going to be peaceful.
[00:19:46] It would be a hustle. , but it wasn’t going to be peaceful because the way I used to do it is I can make it fit right. I do a lot of driving, I drive my kids to school. I don’t have a school bus, and so I drive my kids to school and to their activities.
[00:19:59] And [00:20:00] so I spend a lot of time like answering texts as I’m driving. Which is not the way I wanna live my life, you know? So I was trying to be efficient but it’s not peaceful. It wasn’t peaceful. So some of the aha moments were through either material that I would learn through the courses. Books that were recommended.
[00:20:23] I think if, if I, if I look at where I was two years ago when I joined the program I think I wanted to continue to be this multi-passionate mom that could do everything.
[00:20:37] And it wasn’t until I started listening to other women in my life, not in the program, but sisters and friends who wanted to do it all, that’s when I queued in on, Hmm, I did too. But we can’t do it all. Mm-hmm. , we can do a lot, but we can’t do it all right now. And so listening to other people, and it was probably because I’ve been [00:21:00] coached for so long, that’s when I started realizing, Oh, I’m changing.
[00:21:06] because I’m looking at my life differently. Not that other people are, haven’t figured it out or anything, but I could hear in them where I was before I started making those changes. And that was kind of a big aha because I would start saying, But you don’t have to do it all right now. Mm-hmm. , why do you wanna do it all right now?
[00:21:25] Janeen: Yeah. Oh my gosh, that’s so good. And it really does take that intention, right? It takes that intention to understand what the trade off is. If you say yes to this thing, that means I’m saying no to something else. What am I saying no to? And so often as women, it’s our sleep, it’s our mental health, it’s our own physical health, like our exercise that we’re just not getting to because there’s so many things in our day.
[00:21:52] I know like one of the things that I like to think about when it comes to my time is I have plenty of time to get things. But I have learned, I have [00:22:00] plenty of time to get things done that matter to me, which means I need to be intentional about what it is I’m saying no to.
[00:22:06] Élan: Yeah. Usually like in the garden, because I have two other women helping me whenever they’d say they have time to come over, and if that would cut into my workout time, I would say, Oh, okay, that’s okay.
[00:22:18] I’ll, I’ll just skip my workout and I’ll come because it was convenient for them. Until I recognized these were non-negotiable things in my day. And I have non-negotiable things in my day, and my workout is one of them. My sleep is another one. I already lose sleep because of my job. It’s just an, it’s, it’s a byproduct of being a birth worker.
[00:22:41] Mm-hmm. But if it’s not a woman waking me up at 1:00 AM because she’s in active labor, there is little else I will lose sleep for. Mm-hmm. Maybe a sick kid vomiting. Mm-hmm. , That was right. .
[00:22:53] Janeen: No, there’s that. Yeah, there’s that. That’s not the way you used to operate though. I mean, I, I could say this because we’ve been [00:23:00] friends for 25 years.
[00:23:01] You used to be somebody who would make the sacrifice. You would be like, Oh, I can totally do it all. I’m gonna stay up really late to work on this project and totally pull an all-nighter to get things
[00:23:10] Élan: done. And I don’t, I won’t do it anymore.
[00:23:13] Like I, I remember so many times, like Christmas time saying, Oh, I can finish this Christmas project if the kids are in bed. Mm-hmm. , and I’ll just stay up till 3:00 AM. Mm-hmm. .
[00:23:23] Janeen: Okay. So what have been some of the things that you have learned that have been the most helpful in you becoming more peacefully productive in your life? What are some of the things that you can think of that have been the most helpful in your journey?
[00:23:38] Élan: So I think I have some go to goals or tools that I use every day.
[00:23:43] And that comes down to like my morning writing time. I write down what I’m going to do for the day, what my one big thing is, I write down what I’m going to eat so I don’t have to think about it.
[00:23:55] Mm-hmm. , I write down my morning routine and that means like a morning [00:24:00] devotional for me, it means meditation time. It means my exercise that’s all written down. And when I write it down, the day is clear. It is like crystal clear for me. I know exactly what I’m gonna do next. So that tool in and of itself has helped me become productive, and then I’m able to assess actually and, and evaluate my week. And if I can see that over a week’s time and I see, Oh, if this hasn’t been fitting in for a while, then this is, this is a let go.
[00:24:29] Yeah. So that tool has been huge. Yes.
[00:24:32] Janeen: Yes. Telling your day how it’s going to run and then executing on that plan just saves so much time and energy and decision fatigue during the day, cuz you’ve already made the decisions, you’ve made the most important decisions first, and then you just have to, to live that life for the rest of the day.
[00:24:49] And yes, things come up. But the thing is, is it’s so much easier to manage when you have a plan and you’re so much more likely to execute on that plan when it’s written down. And it’s planned beforehand,
[00:25:00] Élan: I remember years ago you said, Why don’t you take one day a week, like a Sunday and just corner it out to write how your week’s gonna go?
[00:25:09] And I was like, I couldn’t do that. I don’t have time for that. How can I even do that? Which is so comical to me because how could I not do that now? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And so it’s interesting, like yesterday was a day that I had to pivot. I had a kid home. It was a great day. We spent the entire day together, but because I had written out on Sunday all of the things that I needed to accomplish in the week, I could turn my days around and shift so that Monday morning when I had a sick child at home, I could do exactly what I needed to do and what I wanted to do, and it did not at all feel like a chore, like
[00:25:50] Janeen: Yeah. Or like a crazy thing. Like, Oh my gosh, now I got this. Now what am I gonna do? It’s not like that. Yeah. No, it wasn’t. Awesome. [00:26:00] What else? Tell me more. What else has been super helpful for you?
[00:26:03] Élan: So yeah, another tool that I’ve learned is how to say no. I liked being that go-to person, and this has been the year that I have started saying no. And it’s so liberating because it actually made me recognize that the things that I said yes to, I could be better at by saying no to other things.
[00:26:24] Janeen: Yes.
[00:26:26] Because you actually have the bandwidth and the time and the emotional and mental energy for those things that matter to you, that you intentionally say yes to when you’re not by default saying yes to everything else too. Your energy isn’t watered down. Right.
[00:26:39] And those matter.
[00:26:40] Élan: Yeah. It felt like so much of my work product was a procrastinated, scramble. Mm-hmm. right before a deadline. Yeah. And because I had so many things on my plate mm-hmm. , and somebody would call me and say, Hey, and I’d let them commandeer my time [00:27:00] and I would say yes, and then shift my priorities around. Yeah.
[00:27:05] Janeen: Awesome. Okay. What else? Do you have another.
[00:27:09] Élan: I remember getting coached on this probably a year ago. I would allow my work time to be kind of my workout time and I wouldn’t divide those.
[00:27:18] And when I say work time, I’m a very physical worker because I live on a farm and so I’d say, Okay, time with working my horses is my workout time or time in the garden is my workout time. Well, I wasn’t really, I’m moving my body, but I’m not doing it for me. I wasn’t taking time for me. And so that’s when my workout time became just it became a priority so that it was mine. Mm-hmm. . So I would choose, these are the things that I’m going to do to move my body this week. And they’re separate from any farm work that I do.
[00:27:53] Yes. Or any physical work working that I do.
[00:27:57] I think that’s a super relatable example because so [00:28:00] often people are missing out on the the psychological benefits of their fitness time and their exercise time when they’re trying to cram it in with something else. They’re like, Well, I’m gonna. Check this box because I’m vacuuming in my house or I’m cleaning my bathrooms and I’m definitely working up a sweat when I’m cleaning my house, for sure.
[00:28:20] But for me, in my mind, that’s a totally separate activity than my actual exercise time, it’s just not self-care time or doing it for other people, it’s not time that you get to be reflective or, or think about things that matter to you during that time.
[00:28:32] If that’s how you wanna use that time, you’re just missing out.
[00:28:36] Yeah, I think I always thought of it as like, Oh, this is multitasking , and as I’ve learned, multitasking isn’t really multitasking. I don’t get the benefits of both. I wasn’t able to enjoy the time that was specifically for my health and benefit. Other than like grounding and being with the soil and the earth, which I, I totally love, but it wasn’t [00:29:00] self-care because I was taking care of managing the teenagers who were working for me, you know, managing the customers who were showing up too early or too late, you know?
[00:29:09] It just was a mindset. And so when I was able to divide the two, then I could enjoy the time that I spent for myself in whatever workout I wanted to do. But those are like non-negotiables anymore. Mm-hmm. , because I need that for my soul.
[00:29:26] Janeen: Yes, oh my gosh. I love that so much. And I think that is super relatable for other women who are listening in to , particularly with the multitasking .
[00:29:37] I think we are all guilty of trying to multitask as mom and trying to cram too many things in, but like, We’ve been talking about when we do that, we end up just watering down our efforts and ending up getting really overwhelmed and frustrated with that. So I’m glad that you brought that up. The last question that I have for you is, what piece of advice would you give your past self?
[00:29:59] There’s a [00:30:00] woman out there who is struggling in the same way that you were struggling five or 10 years ago. What kind of advice would you offer to her? Somebody who’s struggling in the way that you were.
[00:30:14] Élan: You don’t have to do it all now. I just see that I have recognized over, especially the last two years, but certainly over the last four there are seasons.
[00:30:24] And so if I have a goal to renovate my house, that was a huge goal. I chose that season to do it in, but I couldn’t do all of the clients I wanted to do, and I couldn’t be the sports mom assistant for my kids’ team. I couldn’t do the things with the symphony I wanted to do cuz that was my time to do my house.
[00:30:45] And so I think before then I would’ve tried to fit it all in and. So many of, especially the young moms that I work with now who are, who are trying to fit in, you know, their babies on [00:31:00] top of a job, on top of volunteering on top of their home or their property, and they feel like they have to get validation from the outside world because they’re doing all of these things. So I think even though like the garden and the farm has become like such an identity for me, I can say that was a season and I can let it go.
[00:31:24] Mm-hmm. , because now I’m onto a different season. So I wish that I had allowed myself the space to carve out seasons, have the priority, have a goal, and when I’ve accomplished it, move on to the next.
[00:31:39] Mm-hmm. , because really what my priorities are are limited. They’re specific and they are very focused on what my s oul is connected to. Mm. .
[00:31:52] Janeen: Yes. And that takes practice because I think so often we aren’t connected to ourselves. And so [00:32:00] being able to think about what are my real priorities, what really matters to me?
[00:32:06] How do I want to live my life and spend my time that is mine? It’s not influenced by the things that we are seeing other people doing with their time. And so often that happens. We think, Oh, I should do this with my time, or I should do that, because that’s what we’re seeing other people doing. But when we get really quiet and we tune into that, That is where the magic happens.
[00:32:26] And I think that in and of itself takes time. It takes time to have that connection to say to ourselves, I’m on the right track. This is something that matters to me. Not that it’s easy, but it’s that it really something that deeply connects to you, that matters to you, that you’re passionate about.
[00:32:43] And I think that is what takes time exploring and doing, and I think we’re trying to cram all these things in and, and doing all the things we are not connected to ourselves. And, and the thing is, when we’re not connected to ourselves and we’re just doing all the things there are very few things in life that bring us true joy.[00:33:00]
[00:33:01] And I know joy comes from your thoughts. I know that that is an emotion that comes from your thoughts, but it’s tough to not feel overwhelmed when you’re just busy scrambling from one thing to another, from putting out one fire and then moving onto the next fire to put out. So
[00:33:14] Élan: yeah.
[00:33:16] Absolutely. And I, and I think that for me, I feel like I was the one that it, it wasn’t necessarily always other people that were derailing me or, or pouring on the tasks that I would say yes to, but it was me, right? So I had to learn how to say no to me. Mm-hmm. , because I wanted to do it all.
[00:33:40] It was sort of like, I mean when you are a multi-passionate person, I feel like life feels like this candy jar and really if it’s just the really dark chocolate you want , then just savor that. Yeah. And enjoy that and let the rest go.
[00:33:57] Janeen: Mm-hmm. . Yeah, that’s a fun analogy. And [00:34:00] so, So true. All right, my friend, thank you so much for coming onto the podcast today and talking about your life and your experiences and the things that you’ve learned on this journey of becoming more peacefully productive. I think that the women who are listening really gained a lot of insight from your story, so thank you so much for sharing.
[00:34:19] Thank you for inviting. Absolutely. All right, my friends. Have a beautiful rest of your week. If you want to learn more about the programs I teach, head over to janeenalley.com/programs and check them out over there. All right, my friends. Have a beautiful week. We will cash you guys soon.
[00:34:36] Take care. See ya. Bye.