Hey there, I’m Janeen!
I am a mom of 4 kiddos, a military spouse, a yoga teacher, and a coach.
Before I knew how to set boundaries, take a deep breath, and really enjoy my life, I was a stressed out, “yes” mom. A go-to, people-pleaser.
I felt like my worth depended on doing and constantly giving – which left me drained, frazzled, and with a perpetually empty emotional bucket.
My 4th baby was 4 months old when my husband deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months. My oldest was 6 1/2 years old.
At first, I buckled up. I’m tough. I’ve got this, I thought.
But things fell apart.
I wanted to run away from my stress, anxiety, and loneliness so I ate ALL the chocolate, shopped for shoes online, and watched too many episodes of Modern Family to try to feel better.
I felt like a pressure pot. The tiniest little things would set me off. I yelled at my kids. And not just ‘little’ yells, but scary… I scared myself.
I thought I could hide my stress from my kids, but I couldn’t. In fact, that year my son’s Mother’s Day card that year went like this:
“Happy Mother’s DAY! My Mom looks like this. She likes to eat kale. I do lots of work for her. The End.”
Aww, sweet! But… wait a minute.
“Hey Thomas,” I asked, “Why do my eyes look all squinty like that?” (Check the ‘self portrait’.)
“Because that is what you look like when you’re yelling.”
I felt like this innocent, matter-of-fact statement about summed up my year. :/
I felt helpless to change. I thought everything would get better when my husband got home.
It didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, it was great to have my husband finally come home.
But I had created behavior patterns of anger, anxiety, and bad habits that were still a part of me that weren’t going to, POOF! disappear.
I started to realize I was the problem. And I knew if I didn’t get help, I would be miserable with myself and my relationships with the people I loved most. So I reached out for help – which was huge for me.
The first question Samantha-the-Therapist asked me was, “What are you doing for yourself?”
My thought: “Wait! What?!… ‘Good’ moms don’t slow down, do they!?… What would that even look like?!?”
Fortunately, I was open to change. While working with her, I started to think differently.
I started to realize it was crucial for my health – mentally, emotionally, and physically – to take some time for myself.
And the guilt I had felt in the past about taking time for me was optional.
Nine months later, we moved to Germany. And right before we moved, I got a strong impression to homeschool my kids.
(What?!? Are you crazy?! I know. That’s another story, for another day.)
Germany was beautiful and there were a lot of great things about living there. But it was also really hard.
There were few Americans in the area. We were outsiders. We homeschooled (which is illegal for Germans). We’re near-vegan and ‘Mormon.’ (In the land of schnitzel and schnapps.)
We were So. Weird.
Gloomy, anxious, isolated, overwhelmed and inadequate…
…It took me about 18 months before I was only crying once a week.
The weather in Germany was gray from mid-October to about the beginning of May. I didn’t realize I struggled with Seasonal Affective Disorder (seasonal depression) until my first winter there.
I felt so far from normal and ALL I wanted to do was stay in bed all day.
Fortunately, I reached out again.
This time to a homeschooling mentor, Angie. She was my Godsend. Angie the Angel. The first question she asked me was, “What are you doing for yourself?”
*Noticing a pattern here!?*
She’s one of the reasons I believe in coaching so much!
- Coaches help us see our potential and believe in us when we can’t.
- They help us work on our whole selves.
- Good coaches help us move forward by giving us tools to find our own solutions.
- Coaching shaves decades of heartache and hardship off your life.
- They help us get unstuck!
- And so much more!
Are you ready to get out of a rut, get moving and feel better?
While working with Angie, I knew I needed something to help me get through the gloomy winter. So I signed up for a Half-Ironman triathlon in Mallorca, Spain. (Because that is the thought process of logical human beings, right?!)
I had 10 months to train and get my buns from zero to 70.3.
This half-ironman event changed my life.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had to change what I thought was possible for me.
My training wasn’t perfect, but I finished about 80% of my workouts, I was eating super well and I made it through the winter with no effects from the depression and anxiety that had plagued my life the previous two winters!
Through the changes I was making I started to create new identities and beliefs about myself: strong, vibrant, capable, healthy, fit, empowered, determined, productive, intentional…
When I crossed the finish line, I realized my impossible had become possible!
This is true for you, too!
One of the things I hear sometimes that makes me chuckle inside is, “It’s easier for you.”
I don’t think it is easier for anyone. And that’s the point. As humans we are designed to progress.
We make our greatest discoveries about life and ourselves when we’re challenged.
I was proud of myself for completing the triathlon, but I was more excited that I had overcome my own demons of depression and anxiety, overwhelm, self-pity, and fatigue.
The feeling of empowerment that came from knowing I had a CHOICE to create a positive, healthy, vibrant outcome – blew my own mind! This was the start!
It’s not about homeschooling or triathlons (unless those are your goals, but I’m guessing they aren’t).
It’s about overcoming our own thought patterns and negative beliefs to live a life that feels inspiring. One that gets us excited to get out of bed every day.
That, my friend, is what’s possible for you!
I am here to show you how you can start to spiral up and unlock your dormant, untapped potential to reach your dreams too!
Believing in YOU!
xo, Janeen
